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Post by Chiaki"Tal"Nagasaki on Jun 3, 2011 20:07:56 GMT -5
Where is reality and what are the actions that will define who I am?
I am holding on to the visions I've seen of what I could be
It's what I should be
Chiaki yawned and skated across the ground, he was heading for the tennis courts, not that he wanted to be here, it was better then being in the office. He did not wish to wait for all that was just supposed to end up happening. At times things did not always work out, and yet there was nothing that would help them now would it. He had come here for his own personal reasons and yet he found himself questioning why he had come here. His mind was wandering and yet he tried to just get it go away before it all got worse, he had to work harder before he made a mistake, his mother would not be happy with him and all he wanted was just to do was make her happy for once instead of his brother. But he knew that even at that time it wasn't going to work again was it. Sometimes things were not supposed to go that way, he knew that it was just supposed to go on and he had to work on all of this.
Nothing was easy, as he skated closer again, and there was just a few things that he had to do. He wanted to get out of here before something happened, it was just not that easy to work on anything. "Why am I thinking about him now?" he sighed and tried to block Ao's face from his thoughts, part of him thought he would never seen that boy again, and part of it hurt him to just think like that. He saw another person and moved to avoid them, he skidded across the ground and winced, his arm hurt he must have hit it pretty good when he hit the ground. "Sorry about that...wasn't paying attention..." he hadn't thought he would have made that much of a fool of himself.
But his arm hurt and his board was not to far from him, he stood up to pick it up, ignoring the bruises and cuts he had from falling that was his own fault wasn't it. His body hurt and he just had to ignore it, he looked to the person he had run into and yet part of him was not sure if that was who it was.
'No way...It can't be...' He thought that to himself as he tried to get his mind back on straight he was not sure what to do much less say about all of this.
"Passing through darkness into my own world
Will I be more than when I left, be more than when I left?
Never letting go of the lessons I've learned, this will make a change
A change within me." [red-thoughts, purple-speech-] |
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Daemon Amaterasu
celebrity 
Kiss Me to Sleep
Lead Vocals
"Behind every angel is a devil waiting to be released..."
Posts: 8 
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Post by Daemon Amaterasu on Jun 4, 2011 5:49:19 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all…
Ao looked down at his phone as he walked through the campus, his mind not really registering where his feet was taking him. He was in too deep a thought so he could careless anyway. The doctors had called him…they said Ami was doing better. They’d taken her off her breathing machine but she was still comatose but his sister was getting better. That had made him feel so much better, he hadn’t felt this happy since- Ao’s mind didn’t finish that train of thought for two reasons. One he didn’t want to think about him and how his sudden leaving without telling him anything had hurt and because he was looking down at the message his father had left him. Upon the news that his sister got off her machine his father had texted him…it was nothing nice.
‘Oto-san still doesn’t forgive me…even though…’ Ao couldn’t finish that train of thought because some part of him knew it was his fault. He should have tried a little harder to get her to stay in the house. He should have been the first to cross the street. He should have protected her even if he was younger by a few minutes. Before Ao knew it he was in the tennis courts and he was still walking unconsciously. His father had written that he should be at home helping him with Ami, not playing around in school at a time like this. He’d said some hurtful things after that but as always Ao took a deep breath and simply deleted the message. He loved his father, he really did but Ao couldn’t stand being near him anymore. It always felt so suffocating after the accident with Ami. Soon enough even these thoughts were too painful and he slipped his phone back into his pocket and just pushed the thoughts away. Leaving his mind carefully blank as he walked, looking at nothing in particular.
It didn’t take long for that to all go to hell though as someone whizzed by him on a skateboard clipping him a little in the arm as they tried to get out the way. It woke him from his thoughts as he staggered slightly and saw the person skid on the ground. Ao winced as he felt a stab of guilt and panic lance through him. He began to rush over to the guy when he suddenly stopped once he noticed the maroon hair. Memories flashed through Ao’s mind of someone calling his name and smiling at him, then of the news that someone had moved away. The voice broke Ao out of his reverie and he looked down at his feet as he shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably just as they got up. When they turned to face him Ao glanced up and their eyes locked. ‘…Chiaki…’ The thought was like a whisper through Ao’s mind, he’d been right to guess that after all.
Ao’s eyes widened as he looked at the red head, his eyes roaming over Chiaki to make sure his mind wasn’t deceiving him. “Ch…Chiaki? Is that….Is that you?” Excitement and hope rushed through him suddenly before he remembered that the young man infront of him had left without saying goodbye or an explanation. Would he be as happy to see him as Ao was? Would he even care? Did he even recognize him at all? Taking in Chiaki’s scraps and bruises from falling he looked around for a moment before, hesitantly, taking Chiaki’s hand and tugging him to a bench. Gesturing for him to sit Ao grabbed a small towel and wet it in a nearby sink that they had outside for when the tennis team was done practicing.
He gestured for Chiaki’s arm before starting to clean the various little cuts and scraps that had gotten dirt on and on them. He was quiet for a while as he concentrated on just fixing Chiaki, his heart beating rapidly in his chest for some odd reason. He glanced up at Chiaki for a moment before finally speaking again. “It’s been a while, ne? How have you been?” What Ao really wanted to ask was why did he leave? Why didn’t he say goodbye? Hadn’t they been friends? Ao bit his lip sharply to keep those words back and to push past the rush of hurt that hit him. That was a long time ago, they were adults now or at least young adults. There was no need to dwell on the past. He’d clean Chiaki up and then…then if he didn’t want him around they’d go their separate ways.
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Post by Chiaki"Tal"Nagasaki on Jun 4, 2011 8:19:45 GMT -5
Where is reality and what are the actions that will define who I am?
I am holding on to the visions I've seen of what I could be
It's what I should be
Chiaki had not truly thought that would have happened and yet it had, he was not that worried. His body hurt a bit that was all it was, and he had to wonder if maybe this had happened for a reason. Since most things that happened with him, had always been for a reason even if he hated the reason. Like when he had to leave and not be able to at least say bye to his friend. That was something he was a bit worried about, since he had just now seen Ao again. Was the boy mad at him, it wasn't really his fault but he wouldn't entirely blame his mother either though he wanted to. He had fallen pretty roughly on the ground, but it was not hurting him that much or he was trying to tell himself that he wasn't. He was bleeding slightly, and his ribs hurt it was just cause of how hard he hit the ground, which was his own fault since he had not been paying attention. He never was one for blaming others unless he really wanted to.
He knew he was looking at his old friend, who had been here for the longest time and there was just no way. He wanted to know if this was a good idea, and then he wanted to also care about his friend. 'Ao...If only things I could say now would fix things...' He knew words could never really explain why he had left, his mind wanted him to explain all of that but he didn't know if he really wanted to after all of that. He had missed Ao more then he wanted to say, but he knew that one day he would say nothing was going to change that. He cared, and plus they had been pretty good friends.
"Ao! It's been awhile....Sorry about that..I didnt' hurt you did I?" He didn't want to hurt anyone, much less not his best friend, he wanted to keep him by his side always. Nothing would change it, and that was just the way it was supposed to be, they might as well let it go again. He let Ao tug him towards the bench after grabbing his board, he hadn't expected all of this but he was glad it happened minus the being in pain part. He winced, and dug his nails into his leg for just a minute. His body hurt, and he didn't know if things worked out again. Sometimes he might as well have just let it go, and it was just the way it was. "Fine I suppose...dealing with things here and there....It's nice to see you again though..." He had missed him a lot, sometimes it just never worked out that easily.
He wondered if they could ever go back to being friends again, though part of him was already sure they could have since they had been such great friends before. "Ow..." He winced, and tried to focus again, his body wasn't hurting him as bad as before, he just wanted to know if this was a good idea again. He wanted to glomp his friend as he had when he was younger, but he had to be older now. And he just didnt' want to spook his friend to much. 'I'm so glad my friend is back...Just how to explain why I left...'
"Passing through darkness into my own world
Will I be more than when I left, be more than when I left?
Never letting go of the lessons I've learned, this will make a change
A change within me." [red-thoughts, purple-speech-] |
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Daemon Amaterasu
celebrity
Kiss Me to Sleep
Lead Vocals
"Behind every angel is a devil waiting to be released..."
Posts: 8
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Post by Daemon Amaterasu on Jun 4, 2011 12:02:43 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all…
It was him…It was Ki-chan. The nickname passed through his mind all too familiarly and made a slight pink touch his cheeks before he pushed it away. He hadn’t thought of the nickname he’d given Chiaki since they were younger. It was strange yet familiar. He shifted uncomfortably under Chiaki’s gaze, after all his looks had changed a little since they were younger. Unconsciously Ao touched at the scarf around his neck and glanced away before looking back at Chiaki when he spoke after him. Ao gave him a small hesitant smile, a little happy Chiaki had remembered his name, before giving him a thoughtful look. Was he hurt? His arm throbbed a little where he’d gotten clipped but he knew better than to tell Chiaki that. So with a small lopsided smile he shook his head slightly. “No…I’m fine. It’s you that got the worst of it.”
With that said Ao was determined to fix the red-head up feeling a little bad since he was at fault for not watching where he was going. He recognized the signs of pain when Chiaki winced and tried to be a bit gentler with the red head as he cleaned his wounds. He carefully kept his head down and his eyes away from him, feeling strangely embarrassed. Wanting to fill the awkward silence Ao asked his question on how Chiaki was doing. He looked up at Chiaki when he said it was nice to see him again and for a moment his heart seemed to stop. Ducking his head down but allowing a smile to curl his lips Ao said softly, “It’s nice to see you again too, Chiaki-kun.” Maybe this was a sign, a good sign. Did that mean Chiaki was happy to see him then? Did that mean they were still friends? Warmth swelled inside Ao’s chest at the prospect that things could probably work out but he was still unsure.
Ao froze when Chiaki voiced his pain and winced along with the red head. Fidgeting with the towel as he kneeled down infront of him he murmured softly, “Sorry…Just bear with me a little longer.” Ao bit his lip again although this time a little harder as he finished cleaning the red heads small wounds. He got up slowly and laid the small towel out so that it could dry before he sat next to Chiaki on the bench. He wasn’t sure what to say now. No, that wasn’t right. He knew what he wanted to say or rather ask but he wasn’t sure if he should. However, before he could make a decision his lips began moving and for once since he’d been in the school his voice wavered slightly as he asked just one word. “Why?” Ao bit his lip sharply again so that no more would escape, already feeling guilty for asking something like that as he looked off to the side.
He shouldn’t have…it was none of his business. He should take it back. Without thinking he stood up and turned back to Chiaki but he didn’t look at him. “Sorry that’s none of my business forget I asked.” Sure he said it was nice to see him again but that didn’t mean Chiaki wanted anything to do with him. What had he been thinking? Of course he knew…he’d been thinking they could be friends again. That everything could go back to the way they had been before. Ao so desperately wanted it that way but he was now unsure about it. Ami’s accident, his father’s hatred and this mask he wore had made him more and more unsure of himself and who he was. When he’d been with Chiaki he’d been himself, he’d been happy and confident but the day he left…Ao had never felt more betrayed.
Shaking his head and the memories away Ao glanced at Chiaki before he spoke. “Ah well…I’ll stop being troublesome now and let you go. I’m sorry I got you hurt. I really should learn to watch where I’m walking. It really was nice to see you again. Make sure you put something on those bruises and cuts.” He gave the red head a strained smile before turning away, a part of him wanting Chiaki to stop him and another part wanting nothing more than to get away.
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Post by Chiaki"Tal"Nagasaki on Jun 4, 2011 13:16:09 GMT -5
Where is reality and what are the actions that will define who I am?
I am holding on to the visions I've seen of what I could be
It's what I should be
Chiaki didn't mind having his friend here, the pain was nothing he had worse, everyday that he was not near his friend. He hated it, the kids at the other school had called him a loner. He had made friends there, but he had only done that so his parents would leave him alone. He looked to his friend, then looked to the ground knowing his friend was probably mad at him. He had cried, and screamed, even tried to run off but his father had caught him and well the bruise on his cheek from when his father hit him had remained for awhile. 'Ao don't be mad at me It wasn't my choice...I wanted to tell you...' He let the one line of water fall from his eye as he just tried to wipe it away smiling at his friend. He was not going to break now, he had to be strong for Ao didn't he. He had promised he would protect him, and yet he just wanted to hold his friend close and never let him go. "What happened to you calling me Ki-chan....we might not be kids but we are still best friends through and through right..."
He had always kept the thought of seeing his friend again close to his heart, it might have been what kept him going for so long. He would not show his weaknesses, no he was stronger then that. Maybe if he was alone he might, or if he was in a more private place with Ao but he wasn't so he shoved it down and pretended nothing happened. "It's not really that bad...better to have them cleaned...and I'm just glad I finally found you..." He was not sure if that was a good thing to say but he wanted to get this kid, well adult now to realize that he cared and he was just doing all he could to make this work again.
"You want to know why I left and never said goodbye right...it wasn't exactly my choice....but I made a promise to find you...Sorry I didnt' find you sooner..." He was not sure if he wanted to truly deal with this, but he had missed Ao and he was going to make sure nothing happened to him now. Chiaki looked to Ao, he could tell him leaving had hurt him and he hated it, he wanted to beat himself up for it. He didn't care that he was hurting or his wounds might have bugged him, they were nothing to the pain in his chest. He forced himself off of the bench, pulling Ao back and just holding onto him. "Don't leave....Stay...Don't ever say you are troublesome because you aren't..." He was trying his hardest not to just break down here.
He was glad he had his friend back and as he held his friend in his arms, he just had to wonder if this was meant to be. 'He is still mad at me isn't he....'
"Passing through darkness into my own world
Will I be more than when I left, be more than when I left?
Never letting go of the lessons I've learned, this will make a change
A change within me." [red-thoughts, purple-speech-] |
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Daemon Amaterasu
celebrity
Kiss Me to Sleep
Lead Vocals
"Behind every angel is a devil waiting to be released..."
Posts: 8
|
Post by Daemon Amaterasu on Jun 4, 2011 14:42:36 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all…
Ao had been looking away from Chiaki so he missed the tear that escaped from his old friend’s eye. However, his head did snap up when he pointed out the fact Ao hadn’t called him by the nickname he’d given him. He looked at the red head for a moment stunned before a small genuine smile touched his lips. A swell of happiness once again warming his chest as he said, “Mochiron*!” if Chiaki thought of them as friends, let alone best friends, still maybe there was hope yet.
As Chiaki commented on what he said about cleaning his cuts Ao felt his face heat up. Knowing he was probably blushing he ducked his head and continued what he was doing. Even as kids Chiaki had always known what to say to get him flustered, he’d always been sincere with him. So why was Ao having such a hard time believe those words? He knew Chiaki was probably being sincere and he probably did mean what he said about being glad. He was just having a hard time trusting anything Chiaki was saying…no matter how fast it had his heart racing for some strange reason. Ao wanted to say he was glad he was found now but the words refused to move past his lips so instead he said, “Seriously, you still have no thought for your own well being.” It was comforting to know the young man hadn’t changed much since when they were kids.
Ao bit his lip when Chiaki said he it wasn’t his choice. He didn’t know how he felt when the red head said that. He still had mixed feelings though but Ao guessed it had something to do with his parents. Ao still remembered some of the things Chiaki had told him when he was younger. It was a little funny though. Back then Ao had been the weaker and smaller one of the two, always needing to be saved by Chiaki. Yet now here he was with the same young man fully grown and an inch taller than the red-head. Now he was the one taking care of him and helping him with his cuts. Ao still remembered the vow he’d made to himself when Chiaki first started protecting him. He’d vowed to get stronger so that one day he could be the one to protect Chiaki. He knew that behind the rough exterior was someone very kind hearted and at times fragile. He had wanted to protect that and now…well there was a big part of him that still did.
“Daijobu*…You don’t have to explain anything to me.” Ao didn’t want to hear anymore he had a feeling it would make him not like Chiaki’s parents even more. Even as a child he’d understood that the pressure they put on Chiaki wasn’t fair and shouldn’t be done. He’d never hated anyone before but he was pretty sure he could end up hating Chiaki’s parents for everything they had probably done. He wasn’t necessarily mad at Chiaki but he wasn’t totally happy with him either. While he was glad to see him again he was still hurt and unsure.
Ao was shocked when as he began to walk away Chiaki suddenly pulled him back and held onto him. For a moment he didn’t know how to react as shock ran through his body, his face heating up and his heart pounding faster. When he registered Chiaki’s words Ao did the one thing that came natural when it came to Chiaki. Without a thought his arms encircled the red head and he hugged him tightly, a few tears escaping his eyes. “I missed you, Ki-chan. I didn’t know what to do when you left, I thought I did something wrong and that’s why you didn’t say goodbye.” Ao had never been one to keep what he was feeling inside when it came to Chiaki.
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Post by Chiaki"Tal"Nagasaki on Jun 4, 2011 16:11:27 GMT -5
Where is reality and what are the actions that will define who I am?
I am holding on to the visions I've seen of what I could be
It's what I should be
Chiaki happened to be trying to keep his mind in order, he didn't wish to crack here but he was doing his best at the very least and Ao seemed happier. That was what he wanted, he cared more about him then he had ever cared about himself. He might as well have just given up, there was nothing that helped him anymore and it was just a bit more complicated then he wanted it to be. He might have had to work to getting back his trust thanks to moving away cause of his mother and how stupid she was. He loved her at times, but other times he wanted to just hit her, or get her to realize he was different. And if she didn't like it well then that was her problem wasn't it. He wanted to have his family actually care, but most of the time they never did. Sometimes things just had to get all of this to go on and work yet again. He could tell that he had said something to make his friend look away, he was probably just blushing again and there was nothing that was going to make this easier.
He just wanted to go back to the way they were, part of him wished that nothing had ever changed and he hadn't moved, but yet there was no way for him to truly get any of this done was there. He just had to put up with it and hope for the best, if something bad happened, well they would deal with that when the time came for it to be dealt with. "Well I did say I cared about you..." He kept trying to keep his mind from wandering away even though it did not seem to be to happy with him about all of this either. It wanted him to tell his feelings but he wouldn't, thsoe feelings had to mean nothing to anyone even to him.
He did not like how long it had been since he had actually seen his friend, though he was tired and he couldn't focus much. Maybe it was just cause of his lack of sleep and he was going to ignore it for now. Chiaki always would keep this kid safe, even if the kid was taller then him now. It was a bit odd for him being taller then him, and he wanted to just curl up like they did as kids but he was the smaller one this time so wouldn't that change things. "If you really think I don't...." He did not wish to say that even part of that was his fault, though he did not wish to talk about what happened in that place it was annoying to him and he wanted to get away from it.
Chiaki felt like he had really done something wrong, part of him wanted to just curl up and beat himself up even more now. He hadn't thought it had been this way, and yet sometimes things had happened. He kept the boy close and did not really want to let him go they had been friends for awhile and now there was nothing that was helping. He looked at the boy, and just wiped the tears from the boys eyes keeping him close. He was glad that things might have just been going back to the way they had been before.
"You never could do anything wrong....I told you that....and if I had the chance to say goodbye I would have you know that as well...but it's time we started on different settings...they arent' here to keep us apart anymore..."
"Passing through darkness into my own world
Will I be more than when I left, be more than when I left?
Never letting go of the lessons I've learned, this will make a change
A change within me." [red-thoughts, purple-speech-] |
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